Always Be Saucin’ is growing!! Matt 1 joined the team in the fall of 2024, bringing with him years of leadership and mastery of dungeons and/or
fire-breathing dragons, bringing our sauce a lil extra 🔥heat🔥.
Welcome, Matt 1!
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Game: D&D 5e
God Of The Realm: Matt 1
Team:
Lee: Druid Wood Elf- Chug Nuttz
Nathan: Barbarian Half Orc- Rufio
Jake: Monk Tortle- Botishelli
Rene: Cleric Dragonborn- Rhogar
The party is near Phandolin, an old town that was overrun by orcs but is now up and coming. There is a law master that needs some adventurers but has now left town. Two days p
Game: D&D 5e
God Of The Realm: Matt 1
Team:
Lee: Druid Wood Elf- Chug Nuttz
Nathan: Barbarian Half Orc- Rufio
Jake: Monk Tortle- Botishelli
Rene: Cleric Dragonborn- Rhogar
The party is near Phandolin, an old town that was overrun by orcs but is now up and coming. There is a law master that needs some adventurers but has now left town. Two days pass and our team sets out to find him down Triboar Trail. We are traveling with a cart and our trusty horse and we have a jovial time getting to know each other on a deeper level. Suddenly, our keen perception tells us there is something up the road about 100 yards.
…..GERBLINS!
Shelly approaches first and does some damage possibly. Rhogar heals Rufio. Chug makes a really valiant effort using her badass thorn whip. She’s hit after but everyone agrees she did a really good job. Rufio, blood on his barbaric chest, RAGES, and takes a hand axe to gerblin #2. The group is seeing red and wants REVENGE! (But also, we all ask ourselves, wait why is there a dead horse…?). Shelly hits #1 via nostrils. COWABUNGA! Rhogar follows up with a slice and dice to the vertebral arteries of #6 BYYEEEEE. Rhogar also takes a warhammer to crush #2. #3 is running away. Rufio sends a javelin through the gerblin’s chest then Shelly dives into him. Gerblin, it’s what’s for dinner. #5 is the only little guy left. Shelly and Rufio team up and beat him up. There is carnage everywhere. Every Gerblin is slayed.
Attention turns to the dead dressed horse, as it is covered in flies and starting to smell. It is freshly dead, warm with fresh blood spewn about. In the saddle bag, there is an empty rucksack that was once owned by Sildar Hallwinter, the law master. There are drag marks up the embankment. The horse is absolutely riddled with arrows. Rhogar and Chugs poke around. It’s decided the team must leave their cart and horse for now, as it seems like a safe enough location to tie up the horse until he can be retrieved. The dead horse must be moved from its current locale so the team can pass. Rhogar and Chugs perceive that about 500 yards up the trail, there’s a cave with a stream going out, which is about 5-10 feet wide. There are spears in the ground and literally everything is giving big Gerblin vibes.
The team is happy to survive, but there is one question hanging over the group that dampens the mood. How TF hasn’t Chug Nuttz figured out how to cast two spells?
Oh also, was Sildar kidnapped??? Idk okay byeeeee
Day 2:
The story continues.
It starts with the 4 travelers being very perceptive. We first notice 2 gerblins passed out, lightly snoring. Rufio thinks the group should pretend to nap alongside them. Rhogar thinks this is a terrible idea and wants them murdered. Shelli tries to attack them but misses. Chugs takes out her thornwhip but, alas, misses as well. The collective attack noises wake up the gerblins. Shelli is immediately ready and goes across the stream and is all up on those gerblins, and Rufio joins him. Gerblin 1 stands up and comes @ Shelli but thankfully misses. Rhogar comes to Rufio's rescue with sacred flame, and G1 goes down surrounded by a radiant flame with faint yellow glow. Chugs tries her best to hit Gerblin 2 but her flame only manages to singe the nearby tree. Smoky the Bear would not be pleased. Shelli reminds the group that perhaps all of the misses are alcohol-induced and we probably shouldn't drink wine before battle again. He then breaks out the ole quarterstaff and, with a shit whack, G2 is dead.
And now.....CAVE TIME!!!!
Up ahead, we noticed the cave and creak narrows. There is a wooden bridge ahead, crudely made. Rufio led the pack, followed by Chugs and her flame, Rhogar, and Shelli with a half-melted candle stuck to his shell emitting some light. Rufio noticed a man standing on the bridge, facing away from the party. Rufio’s javelin and Chugs’ flame miss the man, and the man spins around at the commotion. Rufio’s hand axe takes him out. Next up we investigate a side room with 3 wolves chained to a pillar in the middle of the room. One of them wakes up so we pivot outta there. We continue down the cave and enter a room with some stairs and a dark abyss. In the middle we see four gerblins around a fire smokin their meat. We stealthily sneak up to the embankment and see Sildar off to the side next to the tallest gerblin. Rufio tries a surprise attack but his javelin misses. Shelli and Chugs weaken the big guy. Rhogar finishes him and he falls down into the pit. Rufio scares the lil guys and Boblin the Goblin offers a proposition- sildar for us if we kill their boss Klaarg, a bug bear. We agree. Shelli drinks pee. We walk further into cave and find Klaarg and his pet wolf. We try to negotiate to buy Sildar. Klaarg respectz the hustle but is still like nah im good. Rufio RAGES and says bangarang and swings his axe, weakening him. Chugs throws some faerie fire their way and Klaarg and Wolfie glow a nice shade of teal. Shelli wants everyone to know he hit Wolfie. Rhogar steps up to finish off Klaarg by splitting his head- brains are seen. Rufio cuts his head off. We walk back to Boblin and crew and Rufio lobs Klaargs head over and demands Sildar. As we walk out of the cave, triumphant, Sildar starts to awaken and asks if we still want that job. We agree. He also gives us 100 gold each for rescuing him, even though Rufio is a little insensitive about his dead horse. As we load up the cart to get outta there, we notice a quick drop in temperature and sudden ice particles in the sky, despite the typical August weather. We hear a loud sound and look up to see a huge white dragon flying overhead. We learn the white dragon has attacked Phandolin twice, first time 1.5 weeks ago. In the Sword Mountains, orcs are attacking villages. Sildar gives us some tasks and we decide to think about and take a long rest.
DAY 3!!
We travel about 6-8 hours outside of Phandolin. We were in fields but are now into rock formations. At the end of the trail, we see two dwarves who appear very anxious. Rufio tells them about dragons, as instructed by Sildar. The dwarves tell us that a random creature took off with their two dwarf friends. They ask to go into the old dwarfy place and find their friends and maybe kill the random dwarf murderer. Its really dark in the dwarf place. Shelli tucks and rolls into it like a maniac. Inside we see writing in unknown language on some plaques. Shelli continues tucking and rolling down some stairs like he's Leroy Jenkins until we come upon a well-decorated room. Rufio says “guys I think we found where they do their dance parties.” The rest of us humor him with a nervous chuckle. Suddenly we notice two dwarf skeletons, picked clean. We notice a slime creature, ochre color, that would not be felled with slashing. Chugs hits it with fire and Rhovar throws some sacred flame at it. Shelli is hit and quickly cured by Chugs. Rufio stabs him. Now we notice, there's a metal helmet floating around in there. Shelli does a front flip and brings his quarterstaff down on his face and kills him, although he did get a lil acid damage. Rufio takes the opportunity to draw a penis acid outline into Shelli’s shell. Shelli acts happy about it but is probably secretly crying on the inside. Now that Slimer is dead, we explore. Rufio finds a dwarven coin in the pile of rubble in one room. The room to the left appears to be a bedroom with what could possibly be religious symbols on the walls. There are scrapes on the floor in the corner and the wall looks different in one area. Rufio smashes it with an axe and it crumbles to reveal a second room, which is huge and has 4 treasure chests. Chest 1 is empty. Chest 2 has 50 gold. Rufio gives 12 gold to Chugs and Rhogar and 14 gold to Shelli. Suddenly, Rufio looks up and sees flesh light/Slimer 2 dangling from ceiling. Shelli hits Slimer 2, who attempts to hit him back but misses. Shelli then says COWABUNGA and tosses a pizza box at Slimer 2 while doing some twirling ballerina moves, not gracefully, but effective in killing him (or her?)Chest 3 has writing in dwarfish on a stone tablet. Chest 4 has 50 more gold, and brings each of our totals to 25 gold. We walk back outside to the 2 OG dwarves. They give us two stones which are like magic walkie talkies. We show them the tablet and are told it says “Greed Is Good”
Now back in Phandolin and time for a little rest. Nothing happens on first watch - Chugs. Second watch is Rufio. He hears a buzzing in his ear like a mosquito. He slowly turns and is like- oh fuck. Javelin to the face. He's surrounded by orcs. Orc 1 hits him with 14 damage. Orc 4 engages and hits Rhogar. The team is getting messed up by these guys. Chugs cures Rufio who then RAGES!! and bloodies up Orc 2, Orc the Dorc. Rufio knocks his head off- dead. Rhogar crunches the skull of Orc 4. Rufio hits Orc 3 and Rhogar finishes her off.
An orc tells the team that dragons chased them out and took the castle. They wanted to move into the cave after that. Shelli gives the orc 10 gold. Rufio decides to kill him and puts a javelin through his head. We loot their dead bodies and get 4 great axes, 8 javelin, 4 leather armor sets, and (quite surprisingly) 10 gold- 4 to Chugs, 3 to Rhogar, and 3 to Rufio.
Next up: going to Umbrage Hill for the lady.
DAY 4!!
We go to Umbrage Hill and find the lady. Adabra Gwynn. She lives alone in a stone windmill. She doesnt want to leave with us back to Phandalin. We kill a manticore named Eli and keep its rotting body. Chugs becomes a bear for a little while. Rufio rages. Shelli tucks away into his shell. Rufio poops excessively. Botishelli gets 21 spikes from Eli’s dead body. We each get one healing potion from the Abracadabra lady. We all go back to Phandolin and each of us gets 75 gold from town master Harbin Wester. We sell a rotting Eli to some random named Lanine for 40 gold and get 10 gold each. She tells us there are some ruins with lost gold down Triboar Trail towards Conyberry. We start off for third quest. To Gnomengarde. Because the lil guys might have something to defeat the dragon and also some magic items to sell. We get to another cave with a stream. There are red and green mushrooms as tall as trees. Everyone except Chugs eats some. Rufios piece tastes like sourdough and makes him turn blue. Rhogar’s piece tastes like cinnamon and makes him turn blue. Shelli eats both and gets some wings. Rufio eats more and gets high as balls.
Now we’re level 3 yay
Today | Closed |
Monday - Friday: 9am - 5pm
Saturday - Sunday: Closed
